Card Captor Bakura
by Pika-Zukin
Summary: [complete] When Jonouchi's Red Eyes comes to life, there's only one person who can stop it! (first YGO fanfic, before I really knew the characters. Don't hit me.)


I can't believe no one's thought of this before. Or, if so, that it hasn't found its way here. Or, if it has been claimed and I didn't know about it, forgive me! I can't pass up writing such an adorable parody.  
This is obviously the result of eating candy canes while suffering a cold. This is also my first YGO fanfic. I've only started watching it on Cartoon Network, so I don't know anything beyond the first season, really. I think I have all the Japanese names right.. is it Yugi or Yuugi? Is Pegasus still Pegasus, or is he Crawford-san? Are they still Millenium Items? ^^; Maybe I should've done this with dub names... but I just can't bring myself to call Honda Tristan. It's such a fruity name for a guy like him. Bakura looks like a Tristan, but then he wouldn't be Bakura, now, would he?  
(this from the dub-Pokémon author... what a nut I am.)  
--Neekachu

**Card Captor Bakura**

"I did it!" Jonouchi pumped his fists in the air. "Didya see? I finally beat Yugi!"

"You the man!" Honda high-fived his friend, and they danced around the treestump, their makeshift table.

Yugi smiled as he stuck his deck back inside his coat pocket. He joined Anzu and Bakura off to the side, watching Jonouchi and Honda's war dance.

"You let him win," Anzu murmured.

"No, he did it on his own," Yugi said, a note of pride in his voice. "Practice really does make perfect."

"I must say, you battled a little differently," said Bakura. Yugi laughed that off, because no one seemed to notice that his voice got deeper and he gained two feet in height when battling. So, of course, no one noticed that he _didn't_ undergo this transformation during the informal match with Jonouchi. Except, of course, for Bakura, keeper of the Millenium Ring and possible obsessor over Yugi.

"Well, that was more of a strategy practice," he told Bakura. "It wasn't a real simulated battle on a field. Different."

"No way!" Jonouchi declared. "I'm just getting way better! If I can beat Yugi, I'm sure to cream Pegasus!"

"You wanna do what to Pegasus?" Anzu asked. Yugi and Bakura snickered.

"I'm gonna mop the floor with his shiny hair, that's what!" Jonouchi boasted. "And you know how?"

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Bakura said.

"With this!" Jonouchi held a card in front of their eyes. "My old friend, Red Eyes Black Dragon!"

"Now, Jou-kun, you know it's all about strategy, not just high-level monsters," Yugi reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah, spare me the lecture. I'll just hafta develop the highest level strategy to go with it!" Jonouchi and Honda both laughed maniacally.

"Uh oh," Bakura mumbled. He was staring down at his chest.

"What is it?" Anzu and Yugi instantly jumped at him.

"My Millenium Ring is acting mysterious again," Bakura said, shielding his eyes from the blinding glow of the artifact around his neck. "It's going to keep going haywire until it's reunited with the rest of the items, and I can't control it!"

"Haywire?" Yugi questioned. "But my Millenium Puzzle never does that."

"I don't know why!" Bakura said anxiously. "Sometimes it unleashes a dark side of myself. Sometimes it projects visions of things I wish would happen!"

"Like what?" Anzu asked.

"Not today!" Bakura cried. "I've only just met them! I don't want them to see _those_ innermost desires!"

Anzu and Yugi exchanged raised eyebrows.

"Oi, Bakura-kun," Honda said. "Turn down the spotlight."

"I can't control it!" Bakura clutched his silvery-white hair and sank to his knees. "Whatever happens, I--" He was cut off when a beam of light burst from the ring and headed straight for the single card in Jonouchi's hand.

Jonouchi dropped the card, shrieking in a high voice that he would deny later. For out of the card rose the giant Red Eyes Black Dragon itself! It gave a resounding cry and flew off, sending an ominous wind down on the five young visitors to the island.

"Um," Honda said. "Why did that happen?"

"It must be the power of the Shadow Realm!" Yugi exclaimed. "At least, that's all I can come up with."

"Yugi must be right!" Anzu defended him. "But now we have to stop that thing, or it'll destroy the whole island!"

"Forget destroying the island!" Jonouchi shouted. "I want my monster back!"

"Bakura-kun!" Yugi helped Bakura to his feet. "Your Millenium Ring caused this. Can't you do something to bring it back?"

"I... I don't know," Bakura said. "The power of the Millenium Ring is unpredictable. I don't know if I..."

Jonouchi stared at his now-blank card. "It was so cool, too!"

"You know," Anzu spoke up. "This reminds me of a show I've seen." All eyes were on her. "It's about these monsters, and the only way to tame them is to seal them within magical cards," she explained.

"Oh, hey, I've seen that!" Jonouchi said. "I used to watch it with my sister. Cute show."

"YOU admit to watching shoujo?" Honda smirked.

"I'll shoujo you!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

A swoop from the living Red Eyes shut the boys up. "We have to do something!" Yugi said.

"Bakura-kun, your ring caused this," Anzu said. "Maybe you can use it to call it back to Jonouchi's card."

"How am I going to do that?" Bakura asked, panicked.

"Well, for starters," Jonouchi said, "you gotta look the part."

Bakura blinked his huge, innocent brown eyes.

Honda, who admitted to also watching the cute shoujo in his spare time, joined Jonouchi in raiding Anzu's backpack. "Hey, what do you think you're doing!?" she cried.

"You're the only one who's got what Bakura needs," Jonouchi said.

Anzu blushed. "But I'm saving myself for--" She clamped a hand over her mouth. That was close.

"No, no. This!" Jonouchi pulled a pink garment from the bag. "This is perfect!"

"You can't show that off! Give it back to me!" Anzu jumped for it, but Jonouchi held it above his head.

Bakura emerged from the bushes some time later wearing Anzu's frilly pink nightdress. It came just above his knees, similar in style to a ballet skirt. He glowered at Jonouchi and Honda, who were hiding huge grins behind their hands. Anzu glowered back at Bakura. Yugi cocked his head, curious as to how this was going to work.

"You gotta admit, he makes a pretty cute girl," Jonouchi said.

"I don't know whether to be amazed that he's small enough to fit into Anzu's nightgown, or that she's big enough to wear a guy's size," Honda added.

"I'm going to kill you!" both Anzu and Bakura shouted.

Red Eyes singed the tops of the trees just above their heads. "Just hurry up and capture it, Bakura-kun!" Yugi urged.

"I'll do my best," he promised. "But if any of you looks up my skirt, I swear I'll murder you." He paused. "I can't believe I just said that." He ran off in the direction of Red Eyes, snatching Jonouchi's blank card as he passed.

"I wish I had a video camera," Honda commented.

Bakura's Millenium Ring beat against his chest as he ran. At least this short skirt gave his legs plenty of freedom to move. And he did wonder how pink looked with his silvery hair... this was no time to think about that.

He stopped running suddenly. Before him was a shadowy figure, a person. Bakura felt a blush spread across his cheeks. "Yu... Yukito-san?" he sputtered.

The other stepped forward. "No, my name is Kaiba," he said. "Wherever did you get this impression I was called Yukito?"

"Err..." Bakura couldn't stop blushing. Why did he have to be seen in this stupid pink thing!? Kaiba was looking him up and down with a raised eyebrow. "Do I want to know?" he asked.

"No, not really."

Red Eyes gave another well-timed swoop and roar. "One of Pegasus's tricks!" Kaiba guessed. "Someone really has to teach that guy a lesson! That someone should be me." He thumped his fist on his chest.

"Bakura-kun!" someone called. Yugi was racing to catch up with Bakura. "Bakura-kun, I've come to help you recapture Red Eyes! It's only right, since I'm such a talented duelist."

"I'm pretty good too, you know!" Bakura said. "Besides, it's my duty, so I don't need any help!"

Yugi made a little _eep!_ sound as he noticed Kaiba. He just had to prove his own talents by helping tame the Red Eyes... especially now that Kaiba, the most skilled duelist in the world, was watching.

"You're both going to fight that illusion of a Red Eyes Black Dragon?" Kaiba asked the boys.

Bakura took off his Millenium Ring. "This caused the card to come to life, so it's my responsibility to put it back," he said. No sooner did he say that than the ring began to glow again, changing from a ring on a chain to some kind of thin golden staff. The ring, with its pyramid shape in the middle and dangling points on the bottom, rested on top.

"Oh!" Yugi gasped. "What's that for?"

Bakura's intuition answered that for him. He mounted the staff and it took flight, growing little wings at its base. He heard Yugi and Kaiba calling after him, but he didn't listen. The sooner he caught the dragon, the sooner he could be rid of this nightmare.

"Red Eyes!" he shouted at the dragon as he flew closer. "Your chaos ends here!" He swooped over in front of its line of vision, directing its attention on him and not the fleeing duelists below. The black dragon stared at him for a few moments, taking in the sight of its champion, the one who would dare challenge its freedom.

And its eyes grew wide, blinking. Here was a boy in a short pink gown straddling some kind of flying golden wand. Red Eyes snorted in laughter.

"That does it!" Bakura tossed out Jonouchi's blank card, swinging the wand from underneath him at the same time. While miraculously staying afloat, he connected the ring to the card. A gold blaze erupted from their contact, surrounding the Red Eyes Black Dragon. It roared in protest, but couldn't fight the power of the Millenium Ring. It was sucked back into its card. Without pausing for relief, Bakura mounted his staff again and descended, clutching the card for all he was worth.

"Bakura-kun!" Yugi raced to him as his feet touched the ground. "You did it! You saved the island!"

Bakura wiped the sweat from his silvery brow. "I did, didn't I? I'm so glad everyone's safe now."

"You did a good job, Bakura-kun," Kaiba said. "If Red Eyes hadn't been distracted by the sight of you, you probably never would have had time to capture it."

Bakura flushed again. "Is that why I had to put this on... well, I'll still be glad to take it off."

"Don't be in too much of a hurry," Kaiba said. "It does make you look kind of cute." He chuckled and waved, turning around and walking away, his long coat flowing behind him in only the way Kaiba can pull it off.

Bakura was beet-red, and he couldn't move. "Come on, Bakura-kun, let's go back to the others." Yugi pulled on his arm. "Bakura-kun? Hey, why are you just standing there?"

Jonouchi held his harmless card with relief when Yugi and Bakura returned. "Man, maybe that should teach me to take it out in front of you again, huh?" he said, admiring it briefly before reuniting it with the rest of his deck.

Bakura sweatdropped. His ring had returned to its normal state, but he hadn't put it on again just yet. "It's time for me to be rid of this ridiculous outfit. Sorry, Anzu-chan, but it's not my taste."

"I don't think I can ever wear it again," she lamented. "Oh, what should I do? Ne, Yugi-kun, what do you think I should wear to bed now?"

Jonouchi and Honda cracked up at Yugi's flustered look. Bakura used the opportunity to sneak over to the bushes where he had changed earlier. He gratefully removed the garment, only to discover something. He peeked his head over the shrubbery. "Guys?" he asked. "Where are my clothes? You know, my real clothes, that I laid over here before?"

"Clothes?" responded Honda.

"I don't remember clothes," added Jonouchi.

"This isn't funny!" Bakura raced out in his underwear. "Give me back my clothes this instant! I can't wear Anzu's nightgown forever!"

Anzu stared at her mostly-naked friend appreciatively. "Maybe I will take my nightgown back," she mused. "It just might come in handy for him, too." 


End file.
